With Opened Eyes
by leiahlaloa
Summary: AU: It's right after graduation... and Bella is going to be changed. But everything goes terribly wrong... with Edward.
1. Author's Note

A/N:

Hello to all that stumbles over this. I warn you that "With Opened Eyes" is a product of my twisted imagination.

I know I don't answer every question and loose end that could be addressed. But I try to at least skim over the important stuff.

Remember that this is Alternate Universe type stuff….

I'm trusting this message to be the warning that I don't own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse. Nor do I own Bella, Edward, Carlisle, Charlie, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme… etc. I do however reserve the right to create characters of my own… and may just do it, too.

This little story just happened to come to me while playing around on the Twilight Lexicon boards.

Enjoy… and remember… reviews help the writing process!


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse... or any of the characters...**

I glanced down at the photos I held in my hands. Pictures of graduation. It had been a wonderfully overcast day. Perfect weather for the entire Cullen family to come see Edward, Alice and I graduate. Not to mention everyone else that had come out for the blessed event. Charlie, Renee, and Phil were among all the other parents in the audience.

I flipped to a picture that made my smile huge. Edward, Alice and I standing together, holding those little leather booklets in our hands. I was in the middle. Much to my parent's surprise, Edward had scooped me up and planted a kiss on my cheek after we posed for that picture.

He had been absolutely buzzing with glad. When he showed up at ten-thirty that morning to transport me to the school, he'd been bouncing off the walls like he'd had too much caffeine or something. I couldn't quite place why he would have been so excited.

That is, until after we were in the middle of the ceremony. The school had the annoying ritual of placing the girls on one side of the stage and the boys on the other, so Edward and I had been separated, much to my disdain.

I glanced over towards him plenty of times during the ceremony and he was always looking back at me, except one time. During the principal's graduation address he was looking at Carlisle, sharing a meaningful glance. His angel's face had transformed into that of a martyr. I'd turned away from that painful sight quickly, hoping none of the Cullens in the audience had noticed my glance. Noticed that I knew what was going on.

He was putting up a very good façade. One that he was even fooling me with. The excitement was probably excitement for my sake alone. He did not want our graduation to come because soon after I would "damn myself for eternity," so he said.

His offer to change me himself as soon as we were married was tempting. I shook my head. I didn't want that. Edward and I could be together forever. Marriage was just a statement of the vow that I had already given Edward. I was his forever. Getting married wouldn't change anything, except for my last name maybe.

Who knows why I didn't want to get married? It was just a strong instinct that I had.

"Bella?" Edward's voice brought me back to the present, where I was holding the pictures in my hands again, instead of reliving them.

"Yes?" I answered from the rocking chair in my room. He was sitting on the windowsill watching me.

"Is there no way I can change your mind? None at all?" he sighed. The martyr was back with a vengeance. There was no carefully held front in place anymore. He was wallowing.

"None." I answered. At the end of that day, my transformation from human to vampire would begin. I was afraid of everything that would happen in the following hours, but I would come out of it with the promise of forever with him. It was what my heart, beating or not, would desire until I took my very last breath.

"I'll do it." His voice sounded defeated. I almost didn't catch it, his voice was so soft. So sad.

"What?" I breathed. I was frozen in place. I feared that if I moved an inch, he would change his mind.

"I'll change you, tonight. One condition, though." His eyes, topaz as usual, pleaded with me. There was so much within those golden depths.

I couldn't speak, so I waited until he continued.

"Let me watch you sleep one more time. Not the painful sleep of a human being changed to a vampire. No, the sleep of an angel who calls out my name in the darkness." Edward's voice was almost too much for me. It was the inflection, as if every word pained him. As if all his pride had been stripped away.

I knew this was going to be a dramatic process, but I began to wonder if I shouldn't talk myself out of this. At least appease him for a few more months. Even try out college, if that's what he wanted for me.

No. It would be tonight. And if he wanted to do it, I would grant him this last request. I would sleep.

"Only-only if you wake me b-before you…." I trailed off. My own voice wavered. He knew what I meant.

"If that is what you wish. You'll sleep here. I'm going to inform Carlisle. I'll be back at dark." Edward nodded and then he jumped out of the window and out of sight.

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	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. Don't own the characters either. **

When I opened my eyes, I recognized the shrouded ceiling I was staring at. It was Edward's room and I was on his couch, though how I got there, I couldn't remember. I searched my mind, trying to find some memory of a recent run through the woods between Charlie's house and the Cullen's. I found none.

I threw my head to the side to see Edward on the other side of the room, lying very still in the floor. No… Edward lying very still on a mound that looked like a makeshift bed. I couldn't see his face. That puzzled me. He usually watched me while I slept, no matter where he was.

Then it all came back. I should be changed by now. I had granted Edward's wish and fallen asleep that night. We hadn't talked much before I drifted off. He held me as close as he could and as tight as he could, warming himself for the last night with my human body. And I had fallen asleep, dreaming of him in my last human dream.

But he'd never woken me up. Or had he? My mind was so fuzzy. I couldn't remember.

But I _should_ be changed. That gave me pause. If I was changed, then what had happened to those three days of agonizing pain? What of everything that was supposed to have happened? Did I just sleep through it?

No, Edward hadn't changed me yet. That was the only conclusion I could come to. The others had been sure of the three days of pain, except for Alice who hadn't remembered anything at all. There was only one way to check. I was afraid to. Afraid that Edward had foiled my attempt to become one of them.

I hesitantly placed a hand over my heart and waited. I could feel it. A faint beating pulse under my hand. I scowled. This was not amusing and I sat up quickly, ready to fight with Edward if need be. But I suddenly felt very dizzy and had to lie back down.

I watched in horror as Edward kept perfectly still through all of this. As if he weren't conscious of my every movement.

My eyes flashed over to the door that slid quietly open and Carlisle, who looked incredibly old for some reason, came in. He barely threw a glance my way, but crept over to Edward, looking down with concern. He stood like that for a very long time, gazing down at the still form that represented Edward. What was going on?

Carlisle slowly turned to walk towards me. This time I sat up and stayed up.

"Bella!" he gasped. I looked up into his face and tried, unsuccessfully, to figure out what was going on. I couldn't form a coherent phrase so I just stared, willing him to tell me what was happening.

He hesitated but finally picked me up and carried me out of the room. I caught a glimpse of Edward's still form as we left. Fear struck me twenty fold then and I looked up into Carlisle's face. Fear pulsed through me, beckoning me to ask a million different things all at once.

"Save your questions, Bella. I don't want to disturb Edward." Carlisle's voice was unsteady, but his hold on me never wavered as he carried me down to the first floor and deposited me onto the living room couch.

"Oh Bella," Esme's voice was fraught with concern. She came around the couch and cradled me in her arms. Silently, all the Cullen siblings filed into the living room and stared at me, their white faces paler than ever.

"What is going on?" I finally choked out, finding my voice. It sounded odd… the voice that came out of my mouth, but I pushed that concern back. My fear was only for Edward at the moment.

The room was silent for a moment, before Carlisle began speaking in stilted tones.

"Edward brought you back here two nights ago so that he could change you. He had already spoken about it with me and said he was willing to change you himself. His only want was that someone go and get all of your personal belongings that you had boxed up to bring with you and make sure your note to Charlie was in place." He pointed to three boxes sitting by the front door. That made sense to me. The letter to Charlie had almost snapped my resolve in half when I wrote it. I had almost relented to waiting for a few years to get out of lying to Charlie about what was going on.

"Edward tried to wake you up. It seemed as though you were in a coma and nothing would bring you out of it. I told him it would probably be better if you just passed between your own sleep and that painful sleep you would endure for the next three days. He complied, only because he knew it might be less painful for everyone. We were all there when he bit you, Bella. He tasted your blood for only seconds, but something happened when he bit you." Carlisle's voice became severely unsteady.

"It was like you were poison. Instead of you screaming, it was he, who writhed in pain. And then after his screaming stopped, _he_ became comatose and he has been like that for the past two days." Carlisle's composure broke and he placed his head in his hands. Esme's arms tightened around me. I had a feeling she needed to touch me.

My mind was a whirl. What in God's name had happened that Edward would be lying in a comatose state? Was I a vampire? Wasn't I? Edward was in a coma?!? What was going on? Why didn't someone try to wake me up?!? Was I a vampire? What happened to Edward?

I was spiraling. Jasper could feel it and he sent a calm to rush over me, helping me think clearly.

"So what does all this mean? Is Edward-- Am I—" I still couldn't form many coherent sentences, even with Jasper's calming capability.

"We've been waiting to find out." Alice's voice shuddered. Emmett came over, hesitantly, and pulled me out of Esme's grasp. He sniffed my throat first. And shook his head.

"She doesn't smell human."

He placed me on my feet and held me up, showcasing me to the others.

"She may look like Bella, but there are sharper planes where there used to be rounded curves." He gestured to my face, "And look at how her clothes hang off of her." He pulled at my loose t-shirt, which had once been skin tight.

"Bella," Emmett turned me to face him, "Let your mind roam away from Edward and all of us. What does it roam to first?"

"Are you trying to ask if I'm bloodthirsty?" I tried to keep calm.

"Yes," was his only reply.

"I'm not." I shook my head after I checked with myself. I didn't have any desire for blood at all.

"You don't have any desire to go… hunting?" Rosalie's voice sounded from behind us.

"No." I shook my head again, only focusing on Emmett and the others around me, trying not to feel my heart being ripped to pieces by thoughts of Edward's unconscious and possibly dangerous state.

"Her heart still beats." Carlisle interjected as if knowing my thoughts were on that blasted organ in my chest.

"How about your vision Bella? Or your hearing? Maybe your sense of smell? Does any of it bother you in the slightest?" Esme pulled me away from Emmett and sat me down beside her.

"My sight is sharper, now that I think about it. I think if my hearing had changed, I would have heard movements down here, right?" I asked, trying to push the vision of Edward's still form out of my head.

"Right." Esme nodded. Her face was trying to be encouraging, but she was looking more worried with each response.

"And" I pulled in a deep breath through my nose, "I smell all of you, but not any more than I already could." I shook my head. Just the same scent that always drew me to them.

"Her skin is the same color. It's not as white as mine." Esme placed her hand on top of mine to compare.

"This is troubling." Carlisle murmured from his chair.

"Can I go upstairs?" I asked. I _had_ to see Edward. I had to. No matter what had happened to me… I had to see him. What had I done to him?

"I'll go, too," Alice offered. She came over and grabbed my hand. She seemed so eager to touch me. To feel my… warm hands? Her hands were colder than mine still. I had yet to realize it with Esme, Carlisle and Emmett's touch, but hers made me realize I was still warm. She squeezed my hand lightly. I squeezed back and only realized the strength behind it when her eyes flashed to mine. I shook my head and linked together we walked up to look in on Edward.

I only realized how much Jasper was influencing me when we walked further and further from his reach.

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	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: I don't own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse… nor do I own the characters within the text. **

Anguish engulfed me at first. Much like when Edward had left me almost a year earlier. This was worse. At least I had known he was conscious and moving around. Looking at his still form, his pale face was mortifying. But there was something even more horrible than that.

His eyes wouldn't close. They were coal black and glazed over, but they never closed.

I wanted to cry every time I looked into their lifelessness. There was no way we could tell if he was—alive. We could only sit by his makeshift bed and wait.

I found that after the first day, Jasper had to be in the room with me. Otherwise I couldn't control my emotions. I would end up in a ball… crying silently. And I had my tears. If nothing else, they comforted me.

I still had to sleep. When I did, it was on the couch, where I could be close to Edward. The only way I slept anyways was if Jasper was in the room as well, pushing me into unconsciousness. I didn't dream. That was a relief at least. I had a feeling that I would be having the worst nightmares of my life if I had been able to.

After the first two days, I realized that the Cullens were all walking around like zombies, probably mirroring some of the same actions that had ensconced me at one time. I needed to be strong for them. For myself. I couldn't let myself spiral this time. I might not come back.

So instead, I began to spend time with each of them. I would sit with Emmett on the riverbank. Sometimes we'd talk. Sometimes we'd just sit and throw rocks into the rushing water. I let Rosalie teach me how to change a tire and check the oil on the Volvo. She taught me some of the different parts of the engine, too. Alice and I would lay in Edward's meadow. She saw nothing in Edward's future, which didn't really surprise us, but often plunged me into a dark place in my mind. Jasper regaled me with Civil War stories. He always managed to paint interesting pictures with his words. Esme and I mostly cleaned, even when the house was so clean it was sterile. It seemed to be soothing to her, so I allowed it to be soothing to me.

Carlisle was a different story altogether. He and I had discussion sessions about what could have happened to me. And what could have happened to Edward. Everything was speculation. Carlisle had never seen this happen before. Never. So he had nothing to compare it to. As many theories as he came up with, there always seemed to be a flaw in the idea. Something didn't quite fit.

We also tested all the things they could think to test on me. I did have more strength than before, but not enough to say—snap a tree in half like Emmett could do. I was more graceful—no more tripping. I could run in their inhumane way, but never as fast as any of them.

But my skin didn't glisten like theirs. It was just pale white in the sun like always. And I didn't ever feel the blood lust, not even after Carlisle waved a drop of animal blood under my nose. I only craved water. My sense of smell didn't heighten, my hearing hadn't become sensitive. My eyes were still brown.

The last thing that Carlisle and I tried, we tried miles away from the house and family, just in case. We only brought a needle, which I shied away from instinctively. I looked away as his doctor's hands pricked my finger. I looked back, surprised to see the wound heal itself immediately.

"Edward would not forgive us for testing your mortality, so we'll just be thankful you heal on your own now and worry about the rest later," Carlisle laid an arm across my shoulders leading me back in the direction of the house.

"What has happened to me, Carlisle?" I whispered to him.

"I don't know, but whatever has happened, it has made you a bit safer in this household." He squeezed me tightly to him and then let go. "We need to talk about moving. It is not safe for us here anymore. The closest house we own is in Canada. I think we can transport Edward there without much problem. We'll have to drive though. I am starting to worry about his strength. We need to at least try to feed him. This is what is driving me insane. I don't know if an IV would help him at all. If I thought it would, I would figure out a way…. " he trailed off. I knew what he was talking about.

"Well, you are the head of this family. If you think that moving him will be ok, then let's do it. Charlie will come back again to see if we've checked in. If we're all gone, it would be better."

My father had visited the first afternoon that Edward and I were unconscious. He had come to talk to Carlisle and see if my note rang true. Carlisle had been laden with grief over both our comatose situations, so it was not difficult to convince Charlie that I was gone and Edward with me. I did not ask anyone details. I didn't want to know how he'd taken it. I only wanted to be sure that he would stay away.

Edward uttered no sound as we moved. I packed up everything I thought he would want. My boxes were still packed and beside the door. I had been borrowing Alice's clothes for the past two weeks. We left the other cars and took only the Volvo, the M3 and Carlisle's Mercedes.

The ride in the Volvo was silent. I sat in the back, cradling Edward's head in my lap, hoping he was as comfortable as we could make him. Jasper was driving and keeping the terror from ripping my skull open. Alice sat in the front seat, watching the road intently.

We drove for hours. I slept some, probably thanks to Jasper. Before I knew it we were across the Canadian border and approaching a large stone house. When we came to a stop Emmett was a flash coming over to pull Edward out from on top of me. His face looked mournful as he picked up my angel's lifeless body. I knew that Edward was light and small in his current state, but Emmett absolutely dwarfed his brother when he carried him.

I breathed in deeply, trying to control myself. Esme's capable arms were around me, carrying me in before I knew what was happening. She said nothing, but swept me up the staircase after Emmett and followed him into a bedroom.

Emmett laid Edward on one side of the bed and Esme laid me on the other, then they both left. I couldn't help it. I cried. I sobbed so much that I fell asleep, with my head on Edward's cold chest, letting out everything that Jasper had helped me keep inside.

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	5. Chapter 4

**A/N- I do NOT own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. This means that I don't own the characters either. **

Weeks passed by. I continued to steel myself against the raging emotions, thankful for Jasper's willingness to help me. All the Cullens seemed to take their cue from me and remained composed, at least when they were around me.

Carlisle took over the basement of the house and set up a study with a lab. He began writing down his theories and then testing them when he could, borrowing a sample of my thinned out blood, or using Edward's hair for DNA. He only had human knowledge of the body and its workings, so studying Edward and me was frustrating for him.

Esme busied herself with cleaning up the large house and tending to the overgrown garden behind the house. Rosalie began rearranging the garage. Alice became Carlisle's helper, scouring the internet for vampire threads that could possibly help.

I thought to corner Alice one time and ask her what visions she'd had of me when I had been changed. Why hadn't she seen this coming?

"You looked like you do now. Thinner, pale… your eyes are so dark anyways, that I thought they were black, not brown. You were always lying on Edward's couch, recuperating. Edward was only in my first vision of you. After that, he was never in them." Alice shook her head. I could tell she was struggling to remember.

"Alice, don't do this to yourself." I chided softly, hugging her.

"Why didn't I see this coming? Why?" she wept her tearless sobs and effectively broke my heart.

"Alice, he will wake up from this. I swear. I will not let him lie there and stay a vegetable. It's unacceptable." I shook my head and spoke fiercely.

"You know, I think you're stronger than any of us. I think of what I would do if it were Jasper…. And I just--- Oh Bella I'm so sorry." Alice hugged me tighter.

"I know you are. But don't blame yourself. We're going to pull him out of this." I assured her, though I wasn't quite sure myself.

I stayed beside Edward at night, whether I slept or not. I found it was easier for me if I talked to him. I told him I love him. I ordered him to snap out of it. I pleaded with him and promised him everything that I could think of. I unpacked all his CDs and began to play all of his favorites over and over. I placed my almost warm hands on his exposed skin, in an attempt to draw him out that way.

Everything I tried was met with failure. It was horrible to know that I had done this to him, but I couldn't do anything to pull him out of it. It was beginning to gnaw a hole in my interior.

Emmett and I were walking through the woods around the house one day when reality hit me.

"I did this." I murmured. There was no other solution. The Cullens may have had problems, but I had put them in bad positions since I met them.

"Bella! Don't you dare blame yourself!" Emmett growled at me and then pulled me into a bear hug, "None of us could have known this would happen."

"Maybe it would be better if I just left." I murmured into Emmett's shoulder. Then Emmett did something I never thought he would do around me. He threw me against a tree and roared. He roared like Edward had the night my mortality was put to a vote.

I wasn't hurt—not physically. But Emmett's tortured face ripped into me, almost like a mortal wound on my no-quite-human soul.

"Bella, don't you ever—ever think about leaving us—leaving Edward. Sometimes I wonder if he would just disintegrate into dust and cease to exist if you weren't here. How could you be so thoughtless?" Emmett seethed. I was glad to have finally wrenched some emotion out of him. He needed this. But I was beginning to have doubts. Could I exist with the Cullens? I wasn't a vampire. I wasn't a human. What was I? No matter what any of them said, I was still their weakest link.

"I've hurt this family enough." I turned away from him and stalked towards the house. Emmett didn't let it go so easily. He whipped around, blocking my path.

"Bella, we need you." Emmett's face crumpled, "You are our connection to Edward. If you leave… I don't think this family would survive."

At that moment, I knew I had to leave. Not because I was a thorn in their side. Not because I was feeling hopeless about Edward's recovery. It was because I had done something to Edward and I was the one that needed to fix it. I had been an example, not letting myself fall into a dark despair. I only hoped that they could follow it if I left.

I tried my reasoning on Carlisle. He had been through every theory at least six times. He experimented with everything he could, but there were roadblocks in his theories because he couldn't test us the way he wanted to.

He had taken to being Edward's physician again and found that if he just trickled blood down Edward's throat, it helped. His eyes were the only determining factor though, and after being fed they turned gold for seconds before plunging into black lifelessness again.

"Let me go. You have done everything you can from here. I could go search for answers where you can't. Vampires have roamed this earth for centuries. Millenia maybe. I can move around in the daylight. There has to be somewhere we can find something." I pleaded. Carlisle considered the possibility. I could tell he didn't like this any more than Emmett did, but he was a trifle more reasonable.

"Where would you go?" he asked. I could tell he was weighing possibilities and options himself.

"I could go to the Volturi and see what they might know. I could try to find other covens that might be able to help. I could pour over books at the Library of Congress…. see if there's anything recorded in some mythology about something like this. I don't think Edward's going to get better without us searching for information. Alice has left no stone unturned on the internet. She has found nothing."

"Aro, Marcus and Caius had been the first on my mind to contact. But what about your state? What are you going to tell them? They'll want to know your talent if you go there. And we have yet to find if you have one." Carlisle interjected.

"I don't know. Would they be more interested to see that I've become a half breed rather than a full fledged vampire?" I asked.

"I have been thinking about that, Bella. I don't think you are a half breed. I think you are just—an exception. You've been an exception ever since Edward met you. Why not now?" Carlisle shrugged his shoulders, "As to the Volturi, I would leave them as a last resort. I have friends in almost every corner of the world. I will send you to them, if I send you anywhere. It may take me a few months to pull enough strings to get you into the Library of Congress, but universities and libraries in New York and Chicago are always open to the public."

He was going along with this. Maybe he had been thinking of this, too and he only wanted me to go if I was willing.

"But Bella, I don't think I can allow for you to be gone any more than two weeks at a time. We need you—in a way that we never thought we would. Edward still needs you. I don't know how I know, but I sense it. A strength that could leave us irreparable if you were gone for good." Carlisle's voice had become unsteady again.

"Where would I start?" I asked.

"I want to send you to UCLA. The head of the anthropology department is a friend of mine. She has access to some text and documents that are not open to the public. She will be very helpful to you. Just remember that you cannot share our secret. Give me a few days to compile a list of things to look for. My own books here can help me with that. Things that vampires have been labeled as. Theories and myths that you can skip over." Carlisle resignation to my departure signaled that we were out of ideas. And California wasn't a place for day loving vampires.

Could I really be thinking this? Thinking about leaving Edward and the rest of them? Could I be away from him for two weeks? I suddenly ran to our room. I had to see Edward.

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	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Alright guys…. We're getting into uncharted territory here with this story. I realize that I'm continuing to stretch things… but the vision I have for this story presses me on. I ask that you just run with it. We are still in AU mode… and I'm at the helm of this ship… I hope you are all enjoying this as much as I am. **

**I take this moment to say that I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters that inhabit those books. I do however own Seamus. Enjoy him, but don't steal him. He's my Irish vampire. **

Driving away had been the hardest thing. Emmett had pleaded with me to take him. He stood by Rosalie on the driveway, his face hard with irritation. He didn't think I should go alone. Esme had her head buried in Carlisle's chest. She couldn't bear to see another of her children leave. Jasper and Alice's faces mirrored the worry they had for me. Jasper felt my despair at leaving. I knew I would have a long car trip once I was out of his calming reach.

I had forced myself to talk to Edward the night before.

"Edward—" my voice came out in an anguished tone, "I have to leave. You are very sick, my love, and I'm going to figure out what is wrong with you." I felt completely at a loss, trying to explain to the love of my life that _I_ was leaving. Tears streaked noiselessly down my face as I looked down at Edward's still form.

"I want you to fight as hard as you can. Come back to me." I pleaded, "I don't know what I would do if I couldn't see your smile again. Hear that angelic voice of yours. Come back to me Edward. I'll come back to you."

I promised him over and over again. Jasper finally pushed me into sleep.

I was grateful for the rest I had gotten, once I was behind the wheel. I probably would have cried more had I not had the respite.

Thus began my search for the mystery behind Edward's stillness. UCLA had nothing of any use. I spent every hour looking through old history books, journals, and mythological accounts. I drove back to the stone house in Canada empty handed and discouraged.

The toughest part had been the sleepless nights in that dreadful hotel. There was no sleep to be had. I paced and thought and searched through books again and again, waiting until the library opened back up.

After a week at the stone house, I left again, cheered slightly to see that the Cullens seemed to have bore my example and tried to be upbeat.

Edward had looked paler than ever, though, if that was possible. His skin was becoming almost translucent. It worried me and pushed me to search quicker and spend no time in hotel rooms, pretending to sleep.

I went to Chicago and New York and searched in the libraries there. Again, Carlisle had friends who helped me gain access to whatever materials were under lock and key, away from the public.

I learned more about vampire lore than I ever wanted to know. I learned about Vlad the Impaler, Dracula and every other myth and fantasy that had been told and recorded in the past five hundred years. Nothing. Absolutely nothing about comatose vampires, half breeds. Anything that could be considered useful.

Week after week I searched all over the U.S. for a scrap of knowledge that might help us. I only returned to the great stone house to check on my family and Edward. I spent indeterminable amounts of time lying beside Edward, as if being there would help discover the mystery.

After a jaunt in Boston, I went back to the stone house more discouraged than ever. Carlisle and Esme were waiting for me on the veranda as I drove up.

"Oh, my sweet Bella," Esme met me at the steps and hugged me fiercely, "Nothing?" she whispered in my ear.

"Nothing at all. Only stories and myths and lore that one of you could have told me." I knew my voice shook. Carlisle's arms came around both of us and held us there for a long moment.

"Bella, I don't think that your absence has helped at all. Edward has grown incredibly pale. He's not taking much blood. I think somewhere in that stagnant mind he misses you. I'm going to have to ask that you stay, at least for a while." Carlisle's voice was final.

I was thankful, somehow, that he was forcing my hand. As much as I wanted to find a cure, I also wanted to be near Edward. Near all his family. I needed them.

I began spending days and nights by Edward's side, urging him with my mind to eat—to wake up—to move—anything that would signal life. Family members would come in and out, sometimes talking to me, sometimes not. I had become numb to most emotion. I only felt the love that seemed to throb with pain at each shade paler Edward grew.

"There is one other person that I want you to go to." Carlisle spoke up one evening while he was sitting with Edward and me, "Someone that I haven't thought of in a while. He may be able to help us more than text books and myths. But he lives in Ireland."

"Is he a vampire?" I asked, curiously.

"Yes. That's why I believe he'll be of some help," Carlisle continued to talk in soothing tones, his best doctor's face on, "He's the oldest vampire I know besides the Volturi. And when I say old I mean… several centuries. He used to be a type of witch doctor for the Druids. When he was changed, he continued to practice… and his practical magic became… kind of real. He has a talent kind of between healing and magic. It's not something you see everyday. But he's never treated a vampire, I don't think, as there has not been a need. He holes up by himself now in the Irish hills and feeds on animals mostly. This isn't a trip to take alone. I'm going to go with you."

"If you think it might help." I nodded.

"I haven't seen Seamus in years… the last time was just a few years after I had turned Edward. When I realized that Edward's vampiric hunger was strong, I took him out into the Illinois country where there was less of a temptation. Seamus was in Chicago, just passing through, and sought me out." Carlisle had a faraway sound in his voice as he looked down at Edward's pale features.

"In a few days then?" I asked, stroking Edward's hair.

"Yes. I wish there was a way to transport Edward with us, but I don't think it's going to be possible. His skin is too sallow. His eyes would probably frighten anyone on a plane. We should only be gone for a few days. Seamus is quick about his study. He'll want to at least study you, but after we explain the situation he'll either know what to do, or he won't."

"Just tell me when." I nodded.

Carlisle sat with us for a little while longer. He was just as content to watch Edward as I was. The only thing that disturbed me was his eyes. Those once beautiful golden orbs, so black and lifeless. Esme had offered a scarf to put over them, but I'd refused. His eyes were the only thing that told us he was alive.

"Bella, do you want me to send in Jasper?" Carlisle's voice broke me from my intent gaze into Edward's eyes. They were still mesmerizing… no matter what. He was beautiful to me no matter what.

"In a bit. I am tired, but I want to be able to talk to him for a minute." I motioned towards Edward. Carlisle was gone before I could blink.

"Edward," I whispered, stroking his cheek, "I suppose I'm going to Ireland. Leave it to you to be the reason that I go abroad again. I'm not blaming you. I'm happy to go anywhere… do anything to bring you back to me. Just stay ok? Stay here with your family. Live, Edward. Don't be sad that I'm not here. Don't slip away." I pleaded.

"Bella?" Jasper's voice came through the door.

"Come in." I beckoned, wiping the tears from my cheeks. Jasper's blonde head poked in and he tried to smile reassuringly at me.

"You're becoming quite the world traveler aren't you?"

"So I guess you all know that Carlisle and I are going to Ireland?" I scooted away from Edward and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Yes." Jasper sat down in the chair that had been occupied by Carlisle moments before. We sat very quietly. Jasper's eyes were on Edward. Mine were on Jasper. I could feel the calm rolling over me from Jasper, but then I felt a sudden stab of fear.

"I'm sorry Bella." Jasper generated another wave of calm, "I'm just worried about Edward. Alice is beside herself. Emmett and Rosalie are fighting a lot. Edward seems to be the glue that keeps us all together. You've done a pretty good job in his place. Don't ever think you haven't, but his presence is beginning to ache at us. All of us. I'm not upbeat enough to keep us calm like this for much longer. We'll all have to break away soon, just to keep our wits about us." Jasper admitted. He turned his barely gold eyes to mine.

"I understand." I whispered, my tears coming back four fold.

"Oh Bella," Jasper sighed, "Bella, Bella, Bella." He reached and pulled me into his lap, hugging me tight, "We would never leave you two alone. We couldn't bear it. Let's just hope that Seamus can help. Now, let's get you to sleep." As quickly as he'd pulled me into his lap, Jasper had me back on the bed, lying beside Edward. He placed a hand on my shoulder and released a wave of calm and then another and another, until I was deeply unconscious.

**Do you have questions, comments or concerns? Please feel free to write me a review and I'll try to answer anything I can for you. :)**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Danger... if you are feeling any incredulity with my writing so far I warn you to stop. We are going further into this uncharted territory. Things that happen beyond this point are happening because it's the best way to put the story together. Key words: Alternate Universe.**

**I'm really enjoying writing this, and I'm glad that many of you are enjoying reading it. I will continue on. For dear Edward's sake. We can't leave him comatose forever:) Or can we?**

**I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse... nor do I own any of the characters within the pages of those books. I do however own Seamus... I would thank you not to steal my Irish vampire.**

Ireland's countryside was beautiful. I wouldn't have noticed at all, but Carlisle kept pointing out castles and hillsides, trying to keep my mind occupied. He was actually driving at a reasonable pace. Ireland's hill country would not cooperate any other way.

After what seemed like days of driving we were winding up a road that was barely a dirt path. The rental car seemed to protest the uphill climb. As we drove the trees around us got thicker and thicker. Finally Carlisle stopped the car.

"I'm going to go first, and see if he's even here. I sent a telegram to the mailbox that he checks, but you never know. And he won't put a phone up here." Carlisle frowned. He got out of the car and walked up into the dense forest, disappearing instantly. It wasn't a minute before he came back into my line of sight and beckoned me forward.

I hadn't prepared myself for the naked fear I felt. This was the last chance before we went to the Volturi. If Seamus couldn't help us—I shuddered. We hadn't voiced what might happen if we went to the Volturi, but I could imagine that I wouldn't like it. What if they decided that Edward should be destroyed? I bit my lip against the cry I felt building in my chest. The thought was not a comfortable one and my chest felt a little heavier.

We approached a rustic looking cabin and a tall dark headed man stood on the low porch leaning on a banister. He wore simple black loose clothing. Very nondescript. But they still didn't hide the rock hard muscles. His eyes were a golden color, so like all the eyes of the Cullens'. His face was kind and unassuming. I had imagined a stooped, old man. Not this beautiful god, so like many of the other vampires that I knew. I shouldn't have been surprised though.

"Hello, Bella," his fluid, Irish lilted, voice carried over the distance. It warmed me. Residual reaction from my once human life, I suspected.

"Hello Seamus. Thank you for meeting with us." I tried to hide my fear as Carlisle and I walked forward. Even though all signs showed his presence was non-threatening, there was something almost terrifying about a vampire so old. Not that I hadn't met older vampires… but I hadn't had a long plane ride and car ride to think about meeting the Volturi. I had been worried about Edward and getting to him before he stepped out into the sun and ended his existence.

"Bella, do not be afraid. I'm here to help you in any way I can. I remember Edward. He is a vibrant young man. I remember he had a particular talent with the piano. Such a rare gift to be had." Seamus' voice was soothing.

Something about his mention of Edward's playing broke through the veil of panic. I was here because of Edward. I was not going to be afraid of someone that was willing to help. I wasn't.

I smiled a little easier and accepted the hand Seamus offered to help me up onto the porch and into his house.

"It's so odd. I can tell that you've been affected by a vampire's venom, but the warmth in your touch is surprising." Seamus looked down at me with kind, ancient eyes.

"Do you think you can tell us anything?" I asked. I could feel Carlisle's presence behind me.

"I will try, Bella." Seamus led us into a very immaculate living room, nothing like I would have suspected in such a rustic dwelling. He must have registered my surprise.

"I enjoy the comforts that so many others do. I just hide it a little better." Seamus commented, showing us through the house and down into a lab much like Carlisle's own at the stone house in Canada.

Carlisle and I explained everything and in turn, Seamus asked Carlisle and I many questions about the situation. He tested every vampiric trait that he could on me. Then he drew my blood---a whole vial of it. I watched interestedly as the abrasion in my arm sealed itself up leaving no scar or seam.

"Your blood is thin." Seamus stated, "And it smells" he sniffed the air around the vial "all wrong. My mouth isn't watering at all."

"It's so strange," Carlisle murmured.

"We're going to figure this out. I'm sure of it." Seamus turned towards a fluorescently lighted table and placed the vial in a holder, "Carlisle, did you ever try to mix Bella's blood with venom?"

"I wasn't sure it would make a difference. And I still wasn't certain that drawing blood from Bella was such a good idea with a house full of vampires. My sense of smell has been desensitized a lot since I've been at the hospitals so much, so I didn't want to rely on it." Carlisle admitted.

"Well, I'm going to try it. Ever since I got your telegram detailing the situation, I have been forming theories. And this is one of them. Come over here and watch." Seamus waved us over to the table he'd placed the vial on. He pulled out a Petri dish and dropped a little bit of my blood into the clear bottom. It looked so foreign. Not even like blood. More like diluted ketchup or something.

"Alright, now for the venom." He pulled another vial from somewhere on the table. The vial looked empty, but he still went through the dropping motion into the Petri dish… and then I saw it. My blood stayed to one side of the clear plastic, forcing the clear venom onto the other side.

"What does it mean?" I whispered. This was not magic. This was---

"Immunity? Bella's blood is immune to venom?" Carlisle's voice was surprised.

"Not just immune," Seamus pointed down to the dish again. My blood was attacking the venom. Fighting against it. I watched that diluted ketchup juice that was my blood seep into the venom and take over.

"Seamus… this is… extraordinary." Carlisle kept his gaze on the attack that my blood was raging on the venom.

"I wasn't sure. Not until we drew her blood. She doesn't smell human, but she doesn't have that… vampire smell." Seamus sat down on his own stood, his eyes still on the Petri dish. "Did you tell me that Bella has been bitten before Edward bit her?"

"That's right." Carlisle nodded, "By a vampire named James, but Edward sucked the venom out—all of it."

"I think—personally—that there was venom left. Not a lot. Maybe just a drop. I imagine that if Bella came out of a vampire attack alive, she must have had some severe injuries. The first thing that probably happened was a shot of morphine for any pain. Correct?"

"I administered it myself." Carlisle confirmed.

"Well, like venom, morphine paralyzes. Just in a different way. The mixture of the venom, the constant shots of morphine she received and Bella's blood my have just created the greatest immunity to a vampire's venom ever. And took it a step further. The blood has been taught to attack the venom. And, for some reason, the DNA keeps most of the better vampire traits and leaves out the conspicuous ones, like our thirst and the sparkling skin."

"So what does that mean? What am I? Am I human? Am I a vampire?" I asked.

"It means you are an anomaly. An enigma." Seamus said, "There's no name for someone who has been bitten by a vampire and not been changed or died."

"But Bella, another piece of the puzzle falls into place!" Carlisle smiled. It was the first time I had seen him smile in a while. Too bad I was having an identity crisis at the time.

"It's true. So if your blood is immune to venom, then…. when Edward bit you—he was consuming something that was potentially dangerous for _him._" Seamus connected the dots. I pushed my insecurities away and focused on what they were telling me.

"Which is why he is comatose. His scream—he must have felt it. That would have been me." Carlisle's voice was distant. He was probably trying to discern whether it was good or bad that it had been Edward to bite me.

"What a mess I've made." I murmured. It was _my_ fault that Edward was not conscious. It was me who had effectively poisoned him, instead of the other way around. Me, _poison_ to Edward.

"It was not your fault, Bella. We didn't know this would happen." Carlisle shook his head incredulously at me.

"But what have I done to Edward? How can we fix it?" I asked, still anguished with the thoughts that were raging in my brain.

"That is the tricky part." Seamus confirmed. "Bella, may I try something?" Seamus circled around my stool, eyeing me intently, "You are still—seemingly part human. I have never tried to heal anyone of our venom's hold, but I might be able to—fix you."

"I don't want to be fixed!" I shouted, jumping off my stool into a defensive pose, "I chose to let Edward bite me. Now I have to live with those consequences!"

"Bella," Carlisle soothed, "Think about this for a minute. What if the water that you're consuming isn't enough? We may never know what you need to survive. What if your current state begins to diminish? I don't think that we can lose both of you." His eyes were sad.

"But you just said that my body was fighting the venom by itself." I turned to Seamus, not able to face Carlisle's expression, "So far we just know that its effects have been limited to altering my strength, my eyesight and my appearance."

"But as Carlisle said, your body could begin to diminish under the circumstances. You should at least allow me to try. I'm not even sure if it will work." Seamus backed away from me and sat on his own stool again.

"I just—I don't want to be human." I growled.

"Bella, you just sounded like Edward. You are being irrational." Carlisle warned, "Don't think of us, or anyone but Edward. You haven't shown any signs of sickness, but what if we find a way to bring him back to us, only to have you get sick? If we can do something…. If we can guarantee that you will be well… it'll be all the better for when Edward wakes up."

I thought about it. Edward would not forgive me if I didn't at least allow Seamus to try. That much I knew for sure. Any preventative measure that could save my life or prolong it would be taken if he were here to make the decision. And if he were here he would coerce me into it.

"Edward would want me to?" I looked at Carlisle.

"I think that he wouldn't care much if we had the chance and didn't take it." Carlisle shook his head.

"Alright." I relented, glancing over at Seamus. He left his stool and came closer to me.

"Just relax, Bella. I only need to touch your forehead." I closed my eyes and Seamus placed his cold fingers on my brow. I could feel his power then, searching through my body, probably looking for sickness or unhealthy situations. It was an odd feeling. Just a tingling here and there. I felt it the most in my chest cavity. He was searching my heart's ventricles and valves. Probably trying to understand the situation better.

"I feel no harm has come to Bella's structure." Seamus let his hand fall to his side, "There's nothing to heal."

"So she's—"

"The venom is bonded to her DNA. She's as indestructible as we are." Seamus nodded.

"Thank you, Seamus," I sighed, "I'm sorry that I snapped at both of you. I'm just—"

"Everyone's on edge," Carlisle gripped my shoulder, "You need to rest, dear."

"Would you allow me to ponder on all of this for a while? We have learned much, and I need to sort it all out." Seamus was beginning to put the lab back in order as he spoke.

"Of course, Seamus. I saw an inn about ten miles back. Bella and I will go there and check in." Carlisle offered.

"Be serious, Carlisle. You will stay here. My house is yours. Bella, the couch upstairs in my living room is awaiting your arrival. Sleep all you want. And Carlisle, feel free to roam around the woods. There is plenty of nourishment in the area if you need it."

"Thank you." Carlisle nodded. He looked like he needed some time to think himself. I didn't want to think. Sleep was a beautiful escape and I was thankful that it had been preserved, at least.

We took leave of Seamus' lab and submerged into the upper level of the house. I immediately laid down on the couch and willed myself into a slumber.

**I know... I know.. lots of techincal jargon and such. Be ready... there's more. Questions, comments and.. flamage may be directed towards the submit review button... I'm not shy.**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Alright... HUGE disclaimer... more technical jargon... lots more stretching of the truth. Much of the medical knowledge I used is right on the money, though. It pays to have a cousin in medical school.**

**I have to warn you, I feel like I'm running out of steam on this story. It has nothing to do with reviews or anything else. It's more about how we're this close ( ) to being at the end and I am known to NOT finish a story. So if I don't post up for a few days after this one, please don't cry. Bug the heck out of me, yes, but don't cry. I am having a difficult time with chapter 8 and chapter 9. None of it is flowing right. Be patient with me. **

**Again I say, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse... not do I own it's characters. I do, however, own Seamus... and I would ask that you leave my Irish vampire be. I like him the way he is. **

Carlisle and I boarded the plane that would take us across the Atlantic Ocean, back to our family. As soon as we were seated we began talking in hushed tones about everything that we found out by coming to Seamus.

After we discovered my blood's venom immunity, we worked for two days on possible cures for Edward. I only saw Seamus' gift one other time when he was mixing up a medicine he thought might help. He had another sample of my blood, venom and bloodroot powder mixing together, but they wouldn't form a compound. He placed his hand over the bowl that he was mixing everything in. There was a flash and a mist in the air, then the three ingredients seemed to bond of their own volition. He just shrugged at me and began adding other ingredients.

I had been surprised at some of the old medical practices that Seamus suggested. One of the ideas had been leeches to suck out any blood left in Edward—but it was kind of risky. His body could heal up too fast for the leeches to work… or because of the loss of blood, he might not heal at all. We couldn't replenish Edward's blood supply until all the tainted blood was gone, though.

Most of the conclusions centered around Edward's own blood supply being tainted with mine, therefore weakening him into his coma. The thought didn't sit well with me.

"What should we try first?" I asked Carlisle.

"I think the safest thing would be the medicines. I don't want to drain his blood. Not at all. It's so dangerous. And he probably only barely has any at all." Carlisle studied the papers in front of him. I could only nod. Carlisle was the doctor. And he had been studying medicine for years on top of years.

"Bella, you have studied a little more about what we are. Is there anything that comes to mind? Any stories that are similar?"

I wracked my brain. I had read so many myths and legends that they all seemed to run together. Romanian vampires, Slavic vampires, the stories of the Chinese equivalent. All of them had held some interesting stories, but none that seemed too important. Something pulled at the edge of my mind, though.

"Do you know where the stake in the heart theory came from?" I asked, concentrating on finding that particular piece of vampire lore that was nagging me.

"The Egyptians." Carlisle nodded. "The heart was a sacred thing to them. It was a life source. They automatically assumed our existence would be dependent on our heart's survival. As far as I know, our hearts are just another thing we carry around. A dead organ."

"Was there a particular story? Not just a generality that the theory came from the Egyptians."

"You might know better than me. It has been years since I studied the supposed history of vampires. The humans seem to get it all wrong every time." He studied my face for a moment, "Why don't you try to sleep, Bella? It'll come to you." Carlisle encouraged. I nodded and did as he asked. I had slept plenty while in Ireland, but somehow jet lag's effects took over quickly once again and made it possible for me to slip into my dreamless sleep.

After a short flight from New York to Calgary, we were driving back to the stone house. The two hour trip gave me a time to think. Jasper was right. Everyone was going to crack if there wasn't some relief from the intense emotions that surrounded Edward. If after a few weeks he wasn't better, I would be sending some of them away. Probably Rosalie and Emmett first, since they seemed to be having problems. Edward would never want relationships to suffer because of him.

Another part of my mind was preoccupied with picking apart all the information I had gathered in the past months. I knew that there was something that I had read that was suddenly significant, but I wasn't sure what it was. It had to do with the heart. I knew that much, but my brain seemed to have gotten rid of the information.

"We'll have a family meeting as soon as we're in the house." Carlisle jarred me from my tumultuous thoughts as we pulled onto the drive up to the house, "I want everyone to know what we want to try. I would like for Rosalie to look over the plans, too. Jog her memory in the medical field. Maybe Alice can look ahead of us to see if any of the practices will be successful. They'll all be helpful in some way."

"They're waiting for us." I nodded towards the windshield. Everyone but Emmett was standing on the veranda in anticipation. My heart felt like it was slamming in my chest. Seeing them all together made me uncomfortable. Was there something wrong with Edward?

When the car stopped, Alice was at my door and opening it before I could.

"Alice, is there something wrong?" I looked up into her pensive face. I didn't feel like I could breathe for a moment. My worried thoughts were unleashed and raging. Flashes of Edward lying motionless on our bed popped into my mind.

"I just saw you were approaching." She half smiled at me, dispelling my current disparaging thoughts, "We've missed you." I stepped out of the car and into her embrace, not quite sure if I should allow myself to relax.

"I am glad to be back." I squeezed Alice as hard as I could and then released her. The others were gathering closer to the car. They all had the same sad expression on their faces. It wasn't meant to make me panic, but my almost non-existent blood pressure went up.

"Where is Emmett?" Carlisle asked, coming around the other side of the car.

"With Edward." Esme answered, "We don't like to leave him alone."

"Why don't we all go inside? We need to talk." Carlisle prompted. I was thankful that he still managed to take charge. I wasn't so sure that I had much more rational response in reserve.

We chose the sitting room on the second floor of the house, so everyone could be at the meeting and we wouldn't be too far from Edward. I went to get Emmett and laid eyes on the still form of my angel. I would never get over it. He looked so eerie with his eyes open, yet his body so motionless. It chilled me to the bone.

But looking at his face… it was worth it all. The unfruitful trips didn't seem so pointless. The long nights spent anguishing over his health were but a blip on the screen. If I spent every day just looking down into his lifeless face, I would. But he was fading fast. There would be no every day. My blood pressure rose again, slightly.

"Come on, Bell… he'll be alright." Emmett pulled me away from the room.

Carlisle and I explained everything that went on in Ireland. My immunity to venom, Seamus' experimental healing, all the theories and antidotes we brought back to try.

"All the blood letting sounds dangerous," Esme murmured.

"I don't want to try it either." Carlisle shook his head, frustrated, "There's never been a need for anything like this."

"If you used the leeches, where would you put them?" Jasper asked.

"His stomach or his jugular." Carlisle answered patiently.

"What are in the medicines that Seamus mixed?" Rosalie was looking at all the papers we had brought with us.

"They all have a mix of my blood, venom, bloodroot, and then some other ingredients that I can't pronounce." I answered.

"Will your blood not hurt him anymore?" she asked, with wide eyes.

"We don't think so. Her blood is not strong anymore. And the bloodroot is an agent not unlike morphine. Historically it was used as a pain killer. Seamus thinks that the morphine worked with the venom in Bella's body to create this reaction. It might have been a buffer of some sort." Carlisle explained.

"What about the other ingredients?" Emmett asked.

"All just supplemental herbs that Seamus thought would be helpful. Blood purifiers mostly." Carlisle shrugged.

"When do we start all this?" Esme asked.

"I think it would be prudent to begin as soon as possible. Alice, will you please look forward and see if there's anything that we should avoid?" Carlisle looked at Alice. She nodded and closed her eyes.

We all waited silently as she delved into the future. Her expression remained placid, which was a good sign. Any hint of an expression would have given her away.

"The blood letting won't work. I just saw big holes in Edward's stomach where the leeches had been." She winced and then shook her head, "I don't see anything about the medicine. I don't see anything about him getting up, though. I just see him lying on the bed with Bella."

"Then all ideas of blood letting and leeches are out." Rosalie said, decidedly.

"Yes." Carlisle nodded, "I think we should start with the medicine. It will take me an hour or so to get everything ready down in the lab. We're going to transport him down there. Emmett, Jasper, if you wouldn't mind, I need you to go to one of the empty rooms, get a bed and bring it downstairs. Rosalie, I would like your assistance in setting up the lab. Bella, sit with Edward. Alice and Esme, would you mind going and getting our bags out of the car? All the medicines are there."

We all disbanded then under Carlisle's command, going our separate ways. Once I was in the room I immediately got up on the bed with Edward. I felt so torn. I was afraid of what the medicine and anything else we tried would do to Edward. But I wanted him to get better and we didn't know what else to do.

"Edward, what am I going to do with you?" I combed my fingers through his hair, "I've traveled more in the past month than I have in my whole life, being away from you more than I thought was possible. I've learned so much about vampire lore and seen so many places I've never seen before. Ireland is beautiful. Have you ever been there?" I was twittering. I knew it, but anything to distract me from actually crying was welcome.

"It was green everywhere… kind of like Forks, but more sunlight. And Seamus—well… he's an interesting character. He was very useful and he helped us figure out what happened. We think we know what happened to you, Edward. Now we just need to figure out how to fix it." I sighed.

"It was my fault." My voice cracked a little, "If I had never gone running after James, this might never have happened. After he bit me and you sucked his venom out, there was a little residual left. It formed that little scar on my hand, but it couldn't stay out of my body. There was nothing you could have done. It was enough, though. Combined with the morphine, it created a type of immunity to venom. And I poisoned you. With just that small bite, you tasted my toxic blood and were thrown into this state."

It was irony that was shifting my body into sobbing convulsions. Edward hadn't wanted to taint me with his venom. He had wanted to keep me human. But really, I had been the one to poison him. My breathing became shallow every time I thought of it. Of how selfish I had been. I realized that I had complicated this family's lifestyle, again.

"Oh, Edward. I'm so sorry. It's my fault." I hiccupped through the tears that were streaming down my face. I had to stop this. My tears were not going to help matters. I tried to talk to myself like Edward would have. Reassuring myself was a bit harder when I didn't know if there was anything to be at peace about.

I finally coached my crying into remission and gave Edward's entire form a once over. His skin was beginning to get so translucent that I could see the larger veins along his hands and in the crease in his elbow. The circles under his eyes were deep purple. His lips had gone quite pale. The sight hardened my resolve. I could not let him just lay there while I sulked around.

"We're going to fix this, Edward. We are. But you have to be willing to come back to us. You have to fight. You can't just lie here anymore. We need you to gather your strength and use it." I spoke fiercely in a whisper, "Fight. For us. For me."

**All commenting is welcome here. Actually... constructive commenting may SERIOUSLY speed up the process a bit.**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N- Finally! I have an update. I realize it's painfully short, but the next chapter should be painfully long. **

**I warn you... as much as the facts have been stretched... they're about to stretch further. Mythologists please forgive me for my stretching of the truth. My fabrications were made for the story... and for Edward's sake! So maybe that helps.**

**I take a moment to relay that I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. Nor do I own the beautiful characters that are within the pages of those books. I only own Seamus, my Irish vampire... and now Pherona, who you will meet in this chapter. Please, don't steal them. **

Finally, everything was settled in the lab. Emmett carried Edward down like a small child cradled in the arms of a parent. The sight almost broke my heart. Edward looked so undersized.

The entire way down I allowed myself to do something that I hadn't done much since I had woken up from my own change. I thought about the times I'd had with Edward. Ones where we were both awake. I thought about the meadow and the prom. I thought about that wonderful summer we spent together.

I thought about my birthday. It was ok now. Those seven months Edward had been gone may have been painful, but they had made me stronger somehow. Strong enough for this. And I would never give away my memories of him in Italy, glorious and god-like after all the time apart. The healing that his presence in my life brought me. The feeling of wholeness that was there. That feeling was present even if Edward wasn't awake.

I breathed in deeply, feeling a little hysterical. Those memories, healing or not, were getting in the way of my emotional clarity. Jasper must have felt it because he came closer to me and placed a hand on my arm. I turned my mind and my eyes to Carlisle, who was sitting beside Edward's still form, preparing himself.

I didn't want to watch the first time that Carlisle administered the first of the medicines. I was afraid that something awful would happen. Like Edward going into convulsions. Or disintegrating from my sight. I watched anyways. Carlisle dripped the liquid, much like when he had been dripped blood down into Edward's open mouth. I held my breath waiting for something to happen.

But there was no change.

I don't know if we all thought there would be an immediate effect, but there wasn't. And our disappointment was apparent.

"Seamus said we may have to administer this to him in shifts," Carlisle explained as we all sat around the dining room table, "We don't have a specific timeline or an understanding of what it might do to Edward. We only know that most of the time when a human gets sick, the preferred way to combat it is with anti-bodies. Anti-bodies being vessels that used to be the actual sickness itself. We are hoping this is the case with Edward. With just enough of Bella's blood, the bloodroot as a buffer and the venom as reinforcement, it could take a few days for anything to happen."

"So more hurry up and wait?" Emmett asked.

"Yes." Carlisle nodded. There was a collective sigh among the table.

"So we wait," Alice said in a tone of finality, "Come on, Bella. Let's go for a walk."

I easily complied, following Alice into the woods.

"You're going to go crazy if you stay in the house all the time," Alice warned.

"You've seen it?" I asked curiously.

"No, but I've seen your face. I saw your face as we were walking downstairs. Bella, even with Jasper around, you're going to crack soon. Truth be told, we all probably are, but this has taken its toll on you. Your forehead is always creased right here," she touched the spot between my eyebrows. "It's an indicator of your stress."

"I'm not the only one under stress." I looked at Alice knowingly, "Jasper told me that everyone is starting to wear thin."

"Bella, just promise me that you'll get out of that room if you start feeling like it's too much.," Alice grabbed my hand, "Follow Rosalie around the garage, make Emmett go out on a hike, play video games with Jasper. I know it won't help much, but it might keep you distracted for a few minutes." Alice's eyes were sincere.

"Don't think that we haven't put ourselves in your place," Alice continued, "If it was Jasper lying motionless in a bed in Carlisle's lab, I'm not sure that I would be able to handle everything the way you have. I would probably be curled up in a ball somewhere, pretty much useless. Promise me that you'll find one of us."

I hesitated. I know they were all there, if I ever needed them. It had just been lately that I had been holing myself up wherever Edward was. Every passing day that I had been focusing on not imagining the worst, I was drifting further away from the rest of the family. It had taken Jasper to tell me that everyone was falling apart.

"I will if you promise me something," I stopped walking and turned to her, "I know this is taking a toll on everyone. If Edward isn't better after two weeks, I want someone to leave. I don't care which pair of you it is, but I want someone to get out of here. You've been hanging around here, hunting what's available within a ten mile radius, and trying to keep yourselves busy. We're all starting to get a little jagged around the edges."

"I can't promise that. None of us wants to leave you here." Alice shook her head, "It's ridiculous."

"Edward wouldn't want relationships to suffer because of his illness. Just because I don't have superhuman hearing, doesn't mean I haven't heard Emmett and Rosalie's fights. I'm thankful that they try to at least confine them to the garage, but I can still hear." I raised an eyebrow at her.

"So, we gang up on Emmett and Rosalie and tell them to leave. Jasper and I are not leaving, and Esme—well… believe me. She's here for the long haul. Edward is her son." Alice smiled half-heartedly.

"Deal." I nodded.

I briefly checked on Edward when Alice and I got back, not able to stop myself. I tried to convince myself that he looked different. That his translucent skin wasn't so translucent anymore. That the medicine was working. I think my eyes were playing tricks on me though. Seeing what I wanted them to see.

I immediately borrowed Jasper's laptop and set up office in the dining room. If I was going to spend time away from Edward's bedside, I was going to do something constructive. I was still convinced that there was something that I was forgetting. Some story or legend that would make sense once I read it.

So I dived into cyber world. I knew if I just dug deep enough I would find it. I began ruling out all stories from Romania, western Europe, and China. I began searching solely for anything Italian, Greek or Egyptian. The stories were richer, more detailed. A lot of vampires were considered gods in these cultures. They were revered and sacrificed to.

I spent hours reading through mythologies. I'm sure everyone checked on me once or twice, but Esme was the only one to make her presence known. She came and went, filling a glass of water periodically and reading over my shoulder.

I searched well into the night. I didn't want to stop. I knew that if I could just find one or two sentences I would remember the entire story. I didn't even know if it would help us, but I knew that I would feel better once I found it.

I began reading back copies from a journal called "Mythology 101." There were several articles that pertained to the dissection of a mythological story. The idea was that every piece of mythology was there to teach a lesson, almost like a fable. This journal was also under the impression that some of the gods and goddesses had not bee revered for what they seemed to be. Neptune wasn't necessarily the god of seas, for example. There were accounts that stated he was the protector of water, fighting Apollo when he had tried to dry up all the water sources.

I kept reading, feeling the deja vu wash over me. I was so close.

And then I saw it. It was so apparent. So simple. Such a simple story. Maybe that's why I hadn't remembered it. It was too simple.

Aphrodite may have been the goddess of love, but her Egyptian counterpart Pherona was the goddess of hearts. While Aphrodite was making people fall in love, across the Mediterranean Sea, Pherona was healing people. Her touch was prayed for when death overtook loved ones.

Pherona's touch was also a curse, though. Just as she could heal the hearts of the dying, she could kill the living with the smallest of skin to skin contact.

It all clicked together then. So simple. I was almost afraid to even connect the dots because it might be too easy. It was time to call another family meeting.

**Gah! Isn't it frustrating when Bella keeps her thoughts from us? I've been at a road block for a couple days with this story, and your reviews and encouragement have helped me get through it. Please continue to review. It helps me find my center and reason for writing. Do it for Edward's sake.**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: WOOO!!! We're in the home stretch. It's been a ride... and this is quite possibly the hardest chapter I've had to write so far. But here it is... **

**Written! I'm defying many laws of vampirism, human anatomy and mythological accounts. But it's done. And I hope you like it. Oh yeah, and I'm reading this book called The Historian and apparently, the Egyptians do have some awesome mythological gods... so there might actually be a Pherona out there somewhere. :)**

**I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse... nor do I own the beautiful characters within the pages of those books. I do, however, own Seamus and Pherona. **

"You can't be serious." Rosalie interrupted my explanation. We were in the dining room again, and I was trying to convince them that my findings could be the solution.

"Bella, I don't think you know what you're saying. Vampires cannot change back." Carlisle said, sure of himself.

"How do we know that?" I asked. "There is no record. Nothing. I would know. I have read through every piece of vampire lore and mythology I can find."

"Ok, explain it to me again," Emmett spoke up. He had been the quietest of them all, merely listening to me and taking it all in.

"Ok," I nodded and breathed in, looking directly at Emmett "Edward consumed my blood. The blood that is immune to venom. Your bodies contain immeasurable amounts of this venom. That venom may be diminishing, breaking its hold on Edward's body because he wasn't drinking this diluted ketchup juice that's in my body now. He was drinking 100 proof toxic.

"We already know that the reason why I am this half breed thing is because the immunity was strong enough to fight off the more prominent characteristics, allowing the lesser traits to get through and bond to my DNA. Could it not be the reverse for Edward? My blood cleansing his body of the venom?" I looked around and made sure no one wanted to interrupt me, like Rosalie did the first time I'd gotten to this point in my speech. They were all watching me intently.

"So, on to the research I've been doing all night. It was the Egyptians that came up with the whole stake in the heart thing for vampires because they thought that the heart was the wellspring of life. As you guys know, staking a vampire's heart probably just ticks them off. But that got me thinking about hearts and I began scouring the internet again, looking at all the mythology I could find. Are you guys familiar with Pherona? She's loosely the Egyptians' version of Aphrodite. Except that Pherona didn't deal with love… she dealt with hearts. Her touch was known to start up the hearts of those dying or recently dead. But she killed the living with skin to skin contact. It all came together for me then.

"What if Edward is changing? Maybe he won't be human again. The venom has been with him too long. But maybe he would be like me, if he ever woke up. A half breed. Someone affected by the venom, but clearly not a vampire. I'm proposing that we try to start up his heart. Pherona style."

Everyone was silent. Probably trying to decide if I was right or if I truly had cracked. Carlisle was the first to speak.

"So you're talking about getting a crash cart in here? Trying to use electric shock to wake him up?" his voice was incredulous.

"What else could heal the dying, but hurt the living?" I asked.

"Edward is already dead. His heart stopped beating over almost 90 years ago." Rosalie huffed.

"I should be dead, too. How do we explain that? Except what we've already come up with?" I asked. This was not going well. I knew it wouldn't. I knew that they would all be skeptical, especially those who held medical degrees.

"I don't know, Bella." Carlisle sighed.

"Well, if Rosalie's right and Edward is dead, in human terms, then what would it hurt him?" I asked.

"I don't suppose it _would_ hurt him." Carlisle mouth was a grim line, "But his health is balancing precariously on a dangerous ledge. I know that you want him to get better, but this sounds desperate."

Maybe I was desperate. Or hysterical. I hadn't slept since we'd gotten back. I wasn't even sure I knew how many days we'd been back. I began to doubt my own surety, wondering if I was crazy.

"Carlisle," Esme's voice was soft, but it brought me back to the table and the meeting, "If it were me in that bed, instead of Edward, and you thought that this would work, even though everyone else thought it was crazy, wouldn't you still want to try?"

Her voice, soft and melodic, seemed to dawn realization on all of them. She understood. She knew that I wanted to try everything that would work even a little bit. She knew I didn't want to put Edward in danger. I just wanted him to get out of that bed.

A movement out of the corner of my eye. Alice jerked forward and gripped the table. Jasper tried to shake her out of her vision, but she closed her eyes even tighter. It was like she was holding on to the vision.

"What is it, Alice?" Jasper breathed.

"Edward—I had a double vision." She gasped, "Edward disintegrated to dust in the first one… then in the second one he got out of bed. I don't know which one is true." She opened her eyes and looked painfully towards me.

I couldn't take all the emotions that boiled up inside of me. They were too much, even for Jasper. The naked fear, the anxiety, the despair. I slipped away into darkness, finding a place where thinking and emotion weren't allowed.

When I opened my eyes, I realized I was in bed. And Alice was laying beside me, watching me sleep.

"I still don't know why Edward liked to watch you sleep. You just lay there. Unconscious." She laughed.

"I think he liked it better when I could dream. I talked in my sleep." I smirked up at her.

"That would have been fun to watch." She grinned.

"Well, it was embarrassing sometimes. He counted how many times I said his name one night. It was something like fifteen or sixteen." I shook my head, "How is he?"

"Still the same. We were waiting for you to wake up." Alice tousled my hair.

"Waiting for what?" I asked.

"Well, since you've been asleep almost all day, Rosalie and Carlisle fought and fussed until they decided that you were right. An electric shock can't hurt Edward. We know that because Jasper got electrocuted one time and it didn't even faze him. Why not humor you and try? Esme is right. If it were one of us in the same position you were in, we'd try anything we thought could even have an inkling of a possibility of working." She sat up in one graceful movement and hopped off the bed.

"What about your visions?" I asked.

"I have only had that disintegrating one that one time. Now when I look to see what's going to happen, I see Edward getting out of bed every time." She shrugged. That made me feel a little better. Maybe those two visions she saw were a warning to us. A warning that time was running out.

"Come on. We have everything set up. We're just waiting for you." She held out a hand and jerked me out of bed.

I had one of those defining moments of clarity. One that made me realize that I may have solved the puzzle. If Alice was seeing Edward get out of bed, it was only a matter of time til that prophesy came true. And I felt a surge of hope. I carefully stamped that hope down. It might not work.

I followed Alice down the stairs and into the basement. Carlisle and Rosalie were there, hooking up machines to Edward that looked suspiciously human. Heart monitor… IV… they were either beginning to believe I might be right, or they were taking every precaution possible.

I didn't ask the million questions that were going through my head. Like where all the medical equipment came from. Or why there should be an IV. Or what had made them truly change their minds. They were inconsequential, compared to what was about to happen. We were about to take a gamble with my heart. I had to steel myself for the worst.

Suddenly, the entire family was behind Alice and me. Emmett threw his arm over my shoulder. Jasper followed suit and held onto Esme and Alice. All of us looked on as the doctors of the family took care of their patient. We didn't speak. I was barely capable of thinking.

Carlisle glanced toward our group, standing together, leaning on each other.

"Bella." He beckoned me with a finger. I couldn't imagine what he would want from me. I was about to shake my head when Emmett pushed me forward. I managed to keep from tripping and moved closer to Carlisle.

"Bella, you were the one that thought this up. I don't want to frighten you, but I want you to have a choice. I can do it, or Rosalie can do it, or you can do it." Carlisle laid his arm on my shoulder, so much the understanding individual in that moment, wanting to give me a choice. Allowing me to be the one that saved the day…or failed terribly. My heart lurched. I could feel it settle in my throat, almost choking me.

What if I placed the paddle in the wrong place? Or what if he really did vanish into a pile of ashes? Could my fragile psyche take all the consequences? Could I handle it?

I closed my eyes and envisioned Edward, that night before I was supposed to be changed, sitting on my windowsill. So beautiful. Still so horrified that I wanted to give up my human life, to live his ways. But ready to do it. Ready to be the one.

It was my turn.

I glanced down at Edward's still figure, and I felt a moment of grief. This beautiful creature was mine. And I had done this to him. Inadvertently, yes, but still my doing. I _had _to make it right. I had to be the one.

"I'll do it." I didn't recognize my own voice, but there it was, accepting the challenge.

"Are you sure, dear?" Esme's voice was just as unsteady as my own. She approached me and clasped my hands with hers, "Carlisle or Rosalie can do it, if you don't want to." I looked into her face and felt sure for the first time that this was my battle to fight. Something about the way she glanced at Carlisle. I had the same look on my face everyday. Love.

"I'm sure," I nodded, "It's my turn." I almost murmured to myself. Esme seemed to understand. She nodded and stepped back into the group again.

Carlisle very quickly and quietly explained the mechanics of using the crash cart. He pointed to Edward's chest where I should place the paddles. There was a gooey substance covering his torso, probably a buffer for the electrical shock.

When the machine was flipped on and adjusted, Carlisle stepped back, uniting himself with the rest of his family. I allowed myself to look at them one last time, sure that with the flick of my wrist, I could blow up the family for eternity.

Alice's face was encouraging. She was sure this was going to work. She had only seen Edward up and moving around, but she was certain. Jasper's face was weary. This act could either give his powers a rest or overwork them even more. Emmett and Rosalie were focused on Edward, worry creasing their faces. Carlisle and Esme, ever the parents, looked mournful, but hopeful, somehow. They all stood, banded together over this beautiful creature that I love. And my resolve was even stronger.

I stepped up to the bed, drinking in Edward's face one last time. Before I could talk myself out of it, I bent down and placed a kiss on his cold, hard lips.

"On this day, you and I are joined for all of eternity. So you have saved me, so I will try to save you. If I fail, so does my existence. I love you, Edward." I whispered into his ear.

Before I could hesitate any longer, I placed the paddles onto his chest dead center and hit the buttons. Those buttons that would determine the rest of my life.

Under the shock of the paddles, Edward's form moved and the heart monitor, already flipped on, began to beep weakly. I watched in horrified wonder as Edward's face contorted in pain and his angel's voice, coarser than I'd ever heard it before, screamed out my name.

"BELLA!" It was a gut wrenching sound. And then his eyes closed for the first time in three months.

**A/N-Look... there's another chapter already... review this one and then go directly to it! You won't be disappointed... I promise. **


	11. Chapter 10

Edward's Point of View

I was soaring heavenward. I don't know where I was coming from or what was happening, but I could feel myself falling upwards. Bella's mellifluous voice called to me, bringing me faster and faster to the surface.

"On this day, you and I are joined for all of eternity. So you have saved me, so I will try to save you. If I fail, so does my existence. I love you, Edward." Her voice was wracked with wretched ancient pain.

I wanted to call out to her. To answer her promise with one of my own. To stop her from doing any harm to herself. But suddenly I felt a jolt, piercing through my body, ripping my insides out and my outsides in.

I could only manage to scream her name before darkness overtook my sense of being and pinned me to an invisible wall, slipping me into a painless reverie.

**A/N- Aww... she does it again. Yet another agonizing cliff hanger... oui. Now... I advise heavily that you review... because seriously, I have NOT written chapter 11 at all... and I am going to need to be prodded to do it. ;) **


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N- Alright, kiddies. We're in the home stretch. I have written, edited, deleted, re-edited… until my fingers cramped and my brain was frazzled. I hope everyone will like it!**

**I don't own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or any character within the pages. I do however STILL own Seamus and Pherona… so no stealing. **

Back to Bella's Point of View (for the rest of the story)

I sat quietly by the patient's bed, playing with his hair and holding his hand. It was a great pastime. Just watching him was enough for me.

The venom had released some of its hold on Edward. He didn't look all that different, despite my assumption that he would. His sharp angular features had softened minutely. I could tell only because I had memorized the lines of his face. His hair had not lost any of its color or fullness. His skin was softer and warmer. And it had a flush to it. A distinct pink color instead of the pale pallor he had been. The hand that I held didn't feel like granite anymore.

The best change out of any was that Edward was sleeping. He had been asleep for two days. Not comatose. Asleep. With a weak, beating heart and my thin blood running through his awakened veins, via a blood donation. I understood now, why Edward liked watching me sleep so much.

Carlisle said it was only a matter of time before Edward opened his eyes and we would know he was fully intact.

I couldn't believe that he wouldn't be recovered. Not with Alice's visions of Edward becoming more and more animated. So I focused on staying beside him and waiting for the moment those eyes would open. Be the first one to see him smile that angelic crooked masterpiece.

"Bella, dear, you need to sleep." Esme's voice sounded softly from behind me. She moved closer to look at Edward, but then turned a disapproving gaze upon me.

"I will… when he wakes up… I swear." I nodded. I was _not_ going to miss him waking up. Her face softened in understanding and she moved around the bed to take his other hand.

"It's so odd to see and feel his skin. So many degrees warmer and so many shades pinker." She murmured.

"That's _my_ blood in his veins. Warming him. Giving him that color." I smiled with satisfaction.

"Bella, I think that you and Edward have superhero complexes." Esme laughed, "Him saving you. You saving him. You both get adrenaline rushes from it."

"I'm just glad that I don't have to play Lois Lane to his superman now." I smirked at Esme, "It kind of hurt my pride." We sat watching Edward for a while. Most of the family members had been taking shifts, watching him with me. Willing him awake. I turned my own mind to coaxing him conscious. Just to see those eyes opened and that devastating smile… it would be heaven on earth.

"Are you alright, dear?" Esme asked, her eyes studying me intently.

"Sure. I'm fine. Just tired." I shook my head. I was trying to convince myself, just as much as I was trying to convince her.

"Are you sure?" Esme asked, leaning over Edward to place a cold hand on my forehead.

"Yes." I nodded. I saw Esme's head turn towards the door.

"Carlisle is calling me." She patted my cheek and gave me a motherly glance. Then she was gone. I looked at the door she must have raced through. I hated that I didn't have that superhuman hearing sometimes.

Edward moved a little and I glanced over. He had been moving in his sleep for a while. Another sign that he was no longer in a comatose state. I was glad to have this reminder. It felt solid. Alice's visions were solid most of the time, but seeing his movement was like a balm on my frazzled nerves.

Then the most amazing thing happened. Something that I had been waiting for, my entire half breed life. A smile twitched its way up those glorious cheeks, the flesh that had been so motionless until only two days before. The smile that would shame even the angels in heaven. And then he opened his eyes.

I gasped. His eyes—they were… the most astonishing emerald color. I had to blink twice to make sure my own eyes weren't playing tricks on me.

"Edward?" I asked, fearful that I was dreaming. Fearful that I had fallen asleep waiting for him to wake up.

"Bella?" his voice sounded scratchy and strained, but there it was. My eyes filled with tears, hazing my view. I laid my head down on the bed beside him and cried. Cried like I was the sole being furnishing a water supply to the world. Edward was awake. It had worked. The last three months were gone. Done with. Over. Relief rushed through me, making my tears come faster.

I probably would have continued in the hysterics, if I hadn't felt his hand stroking my hair, attempting to calm me.

It took me a few minutes, but I stifled my sobs and sat up, taking his hand in mine, again.

"Oh Edward." I whispered, my voice cracking, "You're awake."

"Awake? What are you talking about?" His voice still sounded groggy and his face was scrunched in confusion.

"You've been in a coma for three months." I answered him. His eyes flashed to mine—those green eyes… so beautiful and startling to me—wildly searching for answers.

"Do you remember what happened the last time you were awake?" I asked, trying to get him to sort it out himself.

"I—it was the night we were going to change you," he glanced at me to make sure he was right. I nodded.

"_I_ was going to change you. I remember tasting your blood—sweet and oh so tantalizing—and then I—I felt an…an agony I had never known, not even in my own change so many years ago. It was like liquid fire had been poured into my mouth. And then I remember nothing." Edward shook his head, then studied me a little closer, "Are you---"

"No. I'm not a vampire. Well, not in the truest sense." I shook my head. Before I could go into further detail, Edward's eyes glanced past me and he smiled again. I heard the collective gasp of his family and grinned right back.

"He's awake!" Alice cried in excitement, stating the obvious.

"It's about time," Carlisle grinned down like a relieved parent.

Over the next few hours, we settled Edward back into our own bedroom. He was filled with questions, which we answered to the best of our ability. Why was he not blood thirsty? Why was I not a vampire? Where were we? And on and on… We answered the questions as best we could, but so many of them went unanswered because we were unsure ourselves.

Finally, the questions subsided. I could tell he was getting fatigued, and all at once everyone else seemed to notice as well. One by one, they bent over Edward, hugging him with their fierce strength and making him promise to never, EVER think about doing anything like this again. He assured them over and over again, his expression wearied by their overbearing attitudes

And then we were alone.

I had taken a chair at the end of the bed, so I could watch him and allow the rest of the group a chance to be closer. Let them touch him and see with their superhuman eyes that Edward was, in fact, alive and recovering.

"Bella," Edward's voice broke through my thoughts and I glanced up in reply.

"Please, come up here. I don't think I can bear to be this close to you and not have physical contact any longer." He was patting the bed beside him. It didn't take me a second to rush around the bed and slide into the covers next to him. He immediately drew me closer, into the circle of his arms and breathed in deeply.

"Ahh… heaven." He smiled, burying his face into my hair, "I was afraid you would smell different. With my newly acquired almost human sense of smell, I hadn't been able to detect your scent among the others. If nothing else, your skin smells sweeter, now that I no longer have to battle my thirst. How incredible." He smiled softly.

"Is it strange? For that part of your nature to be missing?" I asked.

"It is. It's like a piece of my mind has gone. It's odd not to have it there. No monster, goading me to rip into your flesh." He shuddered, "But to be able to hold you this close without having to fight _that_…. It's better than I could have believed. So astonishing." His voice sounded completely perplexed.

"I can't get over your eyes. I'm so used to them being gold… I guess this is your real eye color. And if you hadn't been sick, I have a feeling these circles under your eyes would be gone." I outlined the dark patches.

"You look different. I have been trying to place why. I suppose that you didn't fully escape the venom's power. There's a little bit less of you than I remember," he squeezed my waist and I squirmed, trying to wiggle away from him. He didn't let go. "And the planes of your face are sharper. Still tinged with the pink that I love so much, though."

"I look different? Look at you. You are pink yourself. Well, tan. I mean… neither of us will ever really be tan, but I have a feeling that you've lost your sparkly skin." I laughed softly.

He didn't seem too concerned. His hands roamed, probably acquainting himself with the harder muscles along my arms and back, effectively sending my mind into shock. Then his lips fell to my shoulder, pressing a kiss there that was extremely sweet and sending a new shock of electricity through me.

"It must have been horrible for you. I can't imagine seeing you lying in a coma for three months and not being able to do anything. I'm so sorry." He murmured against me and tightened his grip. That statement brought me out of my daze. He was apologizing to me.

"Edward, I did this to **you**. I should be the one apologizing. If I hadn't been so insistent…" I was cut off by his palm, flattening over my mouth.

"You are not allowed to blame yourself for anything." His voice was complacent, driving every syllable into my brain, "Except for maybe a few choices you made _after_ you met us. I mean, I have given you plenty of chances to walk away… or run away screaming." He grimaced at the thought. "You've just never taken them. But all of this? No. This began when I chose to befriend you back in Forks. If I had just stayed away…. Well. We can't wish ourselves back into the past. I'm not sure I would be able to make any other decisions than the ones I made almost two years ago. Not with the knowledge I have of you now." He pulled away to look in my face.

"These feelings, they are so much more fierce… the humanity of it all. It's like the absence of the bloodlust has been filled with a passion… something that I can't explain. It's intoxicating. You are so very intoxicating." He grinned. It was a beautiful sight. I couldn't speak for a moment; the emotions swirling around me were so overwhelming.

"I heard what you said—before you shocked me." Edward admitted, "Something about ending your existence?" He raised an eyebrow to emphasize his dislike of the idea.

"Uhm… did you not hear anything before that?" I asked, trying to divert his attention. I knew it wouldn't work.

"Of course I did, but ending your existence? Bella! I can't believe you would entertain such thoughts again." He shook his head, "It's unacceptable."

"It's impossible for me to live on this earth without you! You should know that! I mean, seriously, Edward. Do you think I liked living without you for all those months last year? I don't think so. And then you added insult to injury by trying to end your own life." I scowled. He dropped his head back to my shoulder, sighing. He knew he had lost this fight. He had almost been ripped to shreds by the Volturi because he didn't want to live without me. Why should I feel any different, now that I was immortal?

"I love you," I whispered, curling my fingers into his hair.

"I love you, too." He nuzzled my neck, "So now what do we do?" he lifted his head and placed a kiss on my brow.

"We… live happily ever after?" I smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Hmm… I suppose we could do that. I mean, we do have forever." He shrugged, looking seemingly indifferent.

"Or… I could leave and find some other vampire to shack up with." I broke away from his grasp, which was much easier to do now that our strengths were on a leveler playing field. He growled playfully and pulled me back towards him.

"I don't think so." He smiled down into my face before his lips crashed down onto mine, releasing all emotion that couldn't be voiced into words.

**A/N- Come on, come on. jumps up and down Review and go to the epilogue! You won't regret it. **


	13. Epilogue

**A/N- Before you read the epilogue, I'd like to take the chance to thank everyone who reviewed and read this story. Over 3000 hits! I'm amazed and feel kind of gratified. People read my newspaper articles and letters from the editor all the time, but few have gotten to see any of my fiction. I'm glad to have such a positive response.**

**It took me many tries to write this last piece. I had three or four different versions, but this is the one that worked the best…. Er.. well… you'll see when you read.**

**I don't own Edward and Bella… or Twilight or New Moon, or Eclipse. I just own these scenes. And Seamus and Pherona. Don't steal them! **

I was standing on the balcony that connected to Edward's room… er… our room a few weeks later. The country around the stone house was beautiful, now that I had the mind to look around. It was fall and the leaves were changing. Reds, yellows and warm browns surrounded the house. There was a lake situated about two hundred yards from the house and the water winked at me in the sun. I hadn't been very drawn to such a scene rich in foliage before, but it was beautiful to me now.

I could hear noise within the house. Probably Jasper and Emmett fighting over a video game. Actually, the house had been full of noise since Edward had woken up. It was like the bans had been lifted. Music blared. Football games were screamed at. Laughter filled the place.

The only time anyone tried to be quiet was during the night. Edward and I slept during those hours. It was kind of odd, knowing that the family was all still up and moving around. But we managed to curl up together every night and slip into dreamless reverie. I had a feeling that they were all curious about sleeping and watched us from time to time. Esme in particular.

Edward was getting stronger by the day. He had maintained his strength, speed and mind reading capabilities. But his hearing and sense of smell had dulled. After the first few days we couldn't keep him in bed, even though Carlisle and Rosalie were certain he would have serious problems with his reflexes after being immobile for so long.

He roamed around the house in the beginning, getting his bearings and playing the piano. But his patience wore thin and finally coaxed everyone into a baseball game when Alice predicted a thunderstorm. I had a feeling that they had been holding back during the first part of the game. That was until he showed them that his strength and speed were intact.

I smiled at the recent memory. Edward had been unsure of his strength. And he had wanted to try his abilities before that. We convinced him not to press himself. Until that day. He had been in the outfield when Rosalie hit a pop fly into the forest. His gratification had been evident as he zipped out of the trees, holding the baseball up in the air, beaming like the sun itself.

Two long, muscular arms wrapped around my frame while I was thinking about all of this. His touch still thrilled me to the core. And it was amazing to me that the skin that once sparkled, was now as dull as mine. I had been disappointed at first, but now I was happy that we had yet another thing in common and one less obstacle to hurdle.

"Hello," I greeted, knowing there was a smile in my voice.

"I woke up and you weren't there." he rested his chin on my shoulder and nipped my ear. I wrenched away from him, laughing a little.

"Well, you looked so comfy." I brought his hands to my lips, "I didn't want to wake you up."

"Never ever let me sleep if you're awake." He nipped my ear again and then kissed my neck. I shivered and he wrapped his arms around me tighter, "We're in Canada, Bella. You cannot wear a thin little tank top out here and expect to stay warm."

"I don't think I was shivering because I was cold." I turned my head and kissed his cheek. He smiled and pulled me even closer into his embrace.

"So, what is so interesting out here that you've been on the balcony for twenty minutes? I got a little impatient waiting for you to come back to bed." He asked.

"I was just thinking about how beautiful it is here. I really hadn't noticed much." I murmured, "Is it safe to swim in the lake?"

"Yes. We have boats around here somewhere that we can use, too. I do like this house. It's a transition place, while we decide where we're going next. I guess our stay in Forks is over." He seemed a little glum.

"Carlisle is already talking about going north east to Massachusetts or Maine." I nodded.

"We could enroll in spring semester at Harvard or Boston College." He sounded like he was trying to tempt me with those ideas.

"Harvard? Boston College? Are you insane? Those are both very prestigious colleges. How would I manage to get into either of them?" I frowned.

"Oh, I could think of a few ways." Edward chuckled.

"Ways that would not involve a generous donation for a new dormitory or library wing?" I asked.

"Well… probably not. You did manage to graduate with a 3.6 GPA though. If we take the SATs in October we could probably apply and submit our scores late. We'll probably be waitlisted, but if we get a house in Boston, we won't have to worry about dorms." Edward was sounding excited to be planning our college careers.

"You sound like you have this all figured out." I laughed.

"I do," he nodded.

We stood like that breathing in the fresh mountain air and talking about college until Edward's body suddenly stiffened against mine. I followed his line of vision, thankful for my sharper eyesight more than ever.

"Jacob," I whispered when the Quileute wolf pack stepped out of the forest, one by one, their fur gleaming in the sun. They weren't here on a social call.

Apparently, it wasn't happily ever after… after all.

**A/N- Mmkay… so that's the end… of With Opened Eyes. I know. It's cruel. But I realized somewhere in the middle of finding a cure for Edward, we all forgot about the Quileutes and werewolves and a broken treaty and Victoria. AND that new vampire wreaking havoc on Seattle. And Charlie and Renee.**

**So, we have some options here. I can fix this epilogue and Edward and Bella can live happily ever after. Or I can go on vacation in two days, then come back a week from now and begin to write the next chapter in our half breed Edward and Bella's life. I'm seeing his and hers armor…. They are half human, after all. **

**It's your choice. It depends on how many people review and how many people want to see what happens next, according to **_**me**_


	14. Author's End Note

Author's Note: Alright… don't get excited. I'm just on here to direct you towards the sequel to this story.

It's called "Protection" and you can find it under my profile.

I want to take one more moment to thank everyone for all the reviews and readers that happened upon this story. It was fun to write and hear everyone's response. And people are still reading! Over 5000 hits! I'm so impressed. Now if I could just get 5000 reviews. Hmm…


	15. Author's Note: NEW STORY!

Author's Note:

Hey guys, just in case you didn't know… I've begun to write the third (and final) chapter in the "With Opened Eyes" series.

You can find it under my profile. It's called "Constant." I hope you enjoy it!


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